Final comments

So BU is already kicking my butt. Being a last-semester student isn't easy, that's for sure. Between getting photo stuff done for COM, preparing an hour-long presentation for Media Law, and keeping up with the interesting although not easy readings for LI 459: Primo Levi within Holocaust Lit, I've already felt as though I've gone under a few times.

Now that I'm back into the swing of university, I don't have as much time to dwell on Padova, although I do still miss it everyday. Maybe I think about it right before I go to sleep, or when a song, a food or a person reminds me of it. Being back in Boston, away from my friends from abroad and away from the city I am in love with, has been hard, to be honest.

I'm about to turn this blog and 12 prints over to BU's Office of International Studies to complete my scholarship program. The 12 photos I chose are woven throughout my posts, but for a quick rundown of what and why I chose them:

1. The clock. This was one of the first things I learned about upon arrival to Padova, and was one of the first of many historical/narrative explanations Annette and I got from our host dad, Agostino.

2. The lion. A symbol of Saint Mark, and thus, of Venice, this shows that Padova used to be, and still is, within the sphere of influence of the tiny, yet hugely powerful, city of canals.

3. The nuns. A striking image recorded during my first days in Padova. I still love imagining the azure-clad nuns posing for their pictures, because it makes me laugh a little, and because it brings me back to that warm, sunny September day when we all stood around watching them.

4. The window. The shutters on Italian windows came across as a big difference from American life. I don't know why the difference seemed so grand to me, but it feels like each culture chooses their respective window treatments based on their approach to life.

5. The dog. This little guy, or girl, was being really good while his/her owner, holding a Rinascente bag, looked for more stuff to buy at the daily market. Dogs and shopping: two of Padova's greatest loves.

6. The graffiti. I noticed graffiti everywhere in Padova, always hidden behind a palacial building or an old ruin. The murals decorate the empty space left over on plain walls of buildings with little importance to history. Gandhi was one of my favorites because it was well-done and clearly sent a message that we need in the current world.

7. The portico. These structures make a big impact in Padova and other cities known for them, like Bologna. Shelter from the sun, shelter from the rain, and a unique architectural mood are just a few things the portici offer.

8. The market. I was looking for something to represent the market, and these hand-made artisan ceramic hot air balloons perfectly represented how I felt in Padova: as though I was living among the clouds.

Night Series:

9. The clocktower. A symbol of the city, a symbol of Italian culture, a symbol of sciences past, this clocktower is a monument and is even more beautiful by night. Its beauty by night is also a symbol of the majesty of Italy.

10. The apartment. My home away from home, where my second family taught me all about Italian culture. Also pictured is Via N Sauro, my street, which greeted me each morning with vivacity as I joyfully made my way to school.

11. The market. By day the piazzas are full of tents, full of stuff, that attract hordes of people. By night, they are ghostly squares, illuminated by what seems to be internal lights, that haunt the piazzas below the majestic Palazzo della Ragione, another symbol of Padovan culture. The garbage shows the day's work.

12. The self-portrait. I wanted to photograph myself in Italy, to show my life, but I didn't want to do it alone, as most of my experience was possible because of the amazing friends I made. So I asked them to sit on the cobblestones with me, under the Christmas lights, just like when we used to sit on the stairs, or on the statues, or on the ground of the piazze, back in the days when we were just getting to know each other during the warm September nights. They were my foundation, and I believe friends and family are the foundation of everyone's experiences in Italy, so I had to include them in my study of Padovan life.

With that, I think it's time to conclude this blog. Maybe I'll update occassionally if I get news from Padova or something similar, but other than that, I think my work here is done.

Thanks to anyone who has read this blog, and I hope it has helped students currently studying abroad or thinking about studying abroad. Best of luck to anyone who does it. If your experience is anything like mine, you'll remember it forever.

Conclusions

With everything going on during my last few days in Italy-- finals, running around buying last minute Christmas gifts, going to Venice durante l'acqua alta (Saint Mark's at left), hanging with the host family, last parties with beloved friends, packing everything into two bags, and emotionally preparing myself for leaving what has been the best time of my life-- and with Christmas and whatnot, I haven't had much time to conclude this blog.

The last few days were really a blur of emotion. Saying goodbye to people-- first our teachers at the party (lower right) they threw for us, then some of our friends who left on other flights, then our host families and friends who were staying behind, and finally the friends we rode with to JFK-- was ridiculously draining. I cried several times, and was a bit shocked at myself, because I'm generally not a crier (at least not in front of others). Saying "ciao" for the last time (at least in a while; I like to think I'm going back to Padova) to people like Maria Pia, Luisa and Agostino, Francesco, and Sona, Alex and Alex (who are staying in Italy next semester), was heart-wrenching just because I know I won't be able to easily see them.

As the bus drove away and we all looked back at the group on the sidewalk, and a bunch of us were crying, Giacomo (below left) did something that instantly put a spark of life and laughter into everyone's hearts: he pulled out his violin and started playing.

At the airport was a little crazy for people who had over-packed (I miraculously didn't have to pay for overweight baggage!), the ride to Paris was easy, and DeGaulle was pretty much a pain as usual. The French security guards are definitely the least friendly in Europe, and the sheer size of the airport makes transfers a rush. Our flight to JFK was delayed, so I ended up sitting on the ground playing briscola (Italian card game) with Nicole and the two Andreas (I definitely brought Nicole down).

The flight over the Atlantic went smoothly. I was too drained, and too tired, to focus on leaving. I still felt like I was just going on another weekend trip with all my friends. I saw with Liz and Nicole, watched Wall-E and Brideshead Revisited, slept, ate, etc etc.

JFK: customs was fine. I don't think anyone had a problem. When we came out all our parents were waiting for us, mine included. Everyone who lived close enough to New York had parents embracing them and asking about their life for the last 4 months, but we of course all found time to say goodbye to everyone. I thought I was going to cry for sure, but was just too tired to do so. One thing that was really funny: Annette and I were trying to say goodbye to Michael and he kept going around to everyone else first, and Annette pointed out that he probably wanted to say goodbye to us last. :) My parents actually ended up driving him to his hotel so he didn't have to take the airtran shuttle thing, and my mom still raves about how much she liked him.

I was lucky that saying goodbye to Annette wasn't REALLY goodbye, as we were going to hang out in the city a few days later. Saying goodbye to Michael was really hard, and after leaving Sona in Italy, I don't know if I'd have been able to handle a third heartbreak.

I got back home pretty late, around 2 am probably, and was really excited to see Foxy and my sister. We all stayed up for a little bit and I think everyone went to sleep around 3-4. I woke up at 6 because I couldn't sleep, but fell asleep again at 10 for a little bit.

Readjusting to American life was much harder than adjusting to Italy. I felt more jetlagged, and I actually felt resentful for a week or so. I got angry if my parents asked about Italy when I was in a particularly sad mood, I didn't want to eat American food, and I resented aspects of American culture that I didn't have to deal with in Italy.

Luckily, Christmas was coming and provided a distraction. I didn't have time to mope around and contemplate my new sad existence; I had to wrap the gifts I bought people, I had to bake cookies, I had to decorate the tree. Those things were a lifesaver.

Looking back on the last four months, I can't possibly describe it in words. My biggest fear came true: I wouldn't be able to accurately recount the experience to people who haven't experienced it. While I can tell my parents and friends about what life was like, they can't understand because they haven't lived it, and no one can understand what it meant to me. Luckily, it's relatively easy to keep in touch with my abroad friends via Facebook, e-mail, text, whatever, so I won't ever be completely alone when I need to think back about Padova. For anyone abroad, just remember how important it is to stay in touch with the people you grow to love, because while your friends and family from home will want to hear about your experiences and will maybe try to relate, they'll never fully grasp what you lived.

Italy was the most amazing time of my life, as I've said many times already. I owe so much of the experience to BU for creating such a fantastic program in every aspect. The staff that runs the CIES is stellar (Maria Pia is probably my favorite person ever), the host families they choose are loving, helpful, kind-hearted, lively families that made us feel at home, and the excursions and information they provided us made our knowledge and understanding of Italian culture much more complete.

I know things would have been different had I stayed for more than a semester, and I'm sure it would have been more difficult had I remained behind while all my friends left. I talked about these things with Annette during our last night in Padova. We were coming back from St. John's Pub, where everyone had engaged in last-night karaoke partying, and we decided to stand on the Signori steps for one last night. We talked about how much Padova meant to us and how we knew, logically, it had to end the next day. However, the fact that it's over still rips at my heart, and I miss it every day.

I do miss Italy every day, especially now that the holidays have ended and I have to go back to Boston soon. It lives with me in my heart, in my pictures, in my comments with friends on Facebook walls or in text messages, but it is still painful that it's over.

I learned something very important, and very cliched, from my life in Padova. Regardless of how many people say it, the old "Live each day to the fullest" mantra is ridiculously true. Italy taught me to enjoy every day for something, even if it's something small, because every day is a gift, and life should be enjoyed. Americans focus too much on the future-- on work, on planning, on what they have to do tomorrow-- that they forget to enjoy the present.

Moreover, your life can change at any minute, in a drastic way that will rearrange your priorities, your environment, your social circle, everything. Whether you see it coming (like we did), or not, it will happen. So you should enjoy the most of every experience while you have it. Love the people you love, enjoy yourself, have fun, and laugh, because in the end, these are the only things that will matter.

Studying abroad changed my life. I wouldn't change one minute detail about my experience, and I hope anyone reading this blog feels, or will feel (after studying abroad!) the same way. My advice for any students who are on the fence about going abroad: do it. Never again will you have the option to explore another life with the help and guidance of people who understand what you're going through. Go out into the world, into the unknown, and live. You might not know anyone when you get there, you might not know the city-- you'll have to find out where the grocery store is, where the mailbox is, and the best route to get to school/work-- and you might not know the culture, but you'll get to know, and get to love, all of them. And that's the best part.